bookofrainbow.blogspot.com: apa ada dgn "siblinghood" syafika sapika?

.....just fin phone call wit my 3rd sister, Kak syun. OMG, ok my heart feel so cold and i easily fall to cry again as usual since she got married last March. Bcz of that situation, i feel like i wanna write something here. to share wit ya guys on how it feels to be the youngest child in family, which in the end mmg akn ttp keseorangan mcm rase anak tunggal. Alone all alone. Bukan merungut atau tidak bersyukur, alhamdullillah, Allah telah kurniakan keluarga yg sudah cukup sempurna. Thank u Allah. Utk post kali ni, i fully dedicated to them, i.e. my siblings. Akak sayang sgt kak long, abg ngah, kak lis and kak syun and for sure without u guys im lost.

Ok, there are 5 of us. first is Kak long: the eldest sister, second: abg ngah third: kak lis and fourth: kak syun and lastly the fifth is me. thus i have 3 sister n one brother. Noting much to share about my bro sbb dari kecik pon dia jarang ade di rumah. still, for sure i love him. He's the only male yg ade dlm fam kan lepas abah. haha :) my life much surrounded with my sissy; kak long, kak lis and kak syura. They already got married.

Panggilan manje i kat rumah adalah akak. Eventhough im the last. Megikut sejarah family, mereka ckp sbb dulu sume pggil syafika or fika kot. tp i pulak rep n mmbhasakan diri ka..ka...ka.. Masa kecik kan, pelat2 cmpur kurgnyer vocab, dr ka..ka...ka...teruslah kakak..ha gitula citernyer.

kak long n me :)

Dear kak long, mungkin masa akak kecik2 akak kurg rase attach dgn kak long kan. Mungkin sbb jurg umur yg jauh. so sbb tu kerenah akak masa kecik byk dilayan oleh kak lis or kak syura. Tp skrg everyting change. Totally change. Kak long la kakak yg jarang nk menyentap dgn akak. haha..u cool sis. For sure u are among one of my financial supporter. Tu xkan dilupakan hingga mati. Kak long sntiasa happening kan suasana dgn gelak yg galak ok. Eventhough u married n ade adif, ttp ade je masa diluangkan utk layan akak ke sana sini bile yg laen x dpt nak bwk akak. every weeknd ade je outing aktivit n mesti ajak akak. Kalau akak yg ajak kua, mmg jarang la kak long say no at all. Mesti ade je lah aktiviti kite buat. Thank u too to abg man sbb sgt memahami n xkesah. Apatah lagi bile kak lis n kak syun dah kawin, akak dah xde gang, n kak long la setia ade je. So akak xrase lonely lah sgt bile balik rumah tiap weeknd. Plus ade adif kan, so lagilah x boring. Kak long mmg peneman yg setia. im so happy. Bile nak overcome rase sedih since kak syun xde duk umh da, indirectly u were there. Mmg kkdg kite xnmpk, kak long xsedar, tp sbenarnyer bile kak long singgah rumah tiap weeknd akak rase happy sgt. I LOVE U SIS!

my Abg Ngah-susah nak cri pic abg ngah.
terpaksa crop ni.

Dear Abg Ngah, my one and only brother. Thank u so much sbb byk ajar akak. Yup kite jarang spend tym same2. plus abg ngah dgn family n ank2 kan. tp ape2 pon akak nk said thank u sbb abg ngah byk ajar akak mcm2. dr dulu ttg pasal tudung, solat, financial supporter jugee, n u make me aware about my religion. Im so impressed wit ya high determination and hardworking in life. Sedar x sedar, u already performed umrah twice and hajj. Mmg rezeki Allah tu dimana2 kan. Xde yg mustahil walaupun kite rase kite lemah atau xmampu. Selagi kite berusaha ada je jalanyer. Akak akn pgg prinsip itu. tQ bro. I LOVE U!

Dear kak lis,

kak lis and i

Tak dinafikan sister fight tu ade je. Lagi dah besar gaduh, lagi menyakitkan kan. Ok, akak akn pastikan in future there were no more.Alhamdullilah we managed to do that kan. Masing2 dah besar kan. dulu sll sgt pinjam brg kak lis. xtau nape, most of ur things were cool back then. skrg..heee..laen dah..ive my own taste n interest now. Masa kak lis start got married dulu pon rase sayu hiba sikit. Nasib ade kak syun, tempat mengadu. Really hard to accept, tp life must go on kan. Kahwin je. MULE2, rase rindu kat kak lis sbb dulu kite kan partner in crime. kak syun tym tu kat UKM n dia jarg balik umh. Kak long plak still duk sungai buluh. so mmg it was just u n me je masa dulu.Tp that time (bile dah kahwin) rase mcm u were totally gone. Im lost n xde gang n rase kak lis mmg xleh nak jd my sis balik. Kehilangan sgt2. kekok kot. Later, bile dah bz2 kan diri, things change, life change n akak tahu kak lis pon msti rase susah at the beginning. Now were r doin good. Really good. Thank u too to abg fir sbb die pon cool utk spend kan masa utk join buat aktiviti antara sissy hood kite. Kite mmg memerlukan masa utk mmbaiki dan memulihkan keadaan. I understand u n mmg dah masa nya kan. Sabar tu sgt penting. Im glad that once u got married kak syura jd pengganti. U always hv time to call me, support me (financial too), talk nicely and care about family so much. so roda ttp berpusing n teruskan pejalanan. tq kak lis, I LOVE U SIS!

Me and Kak syun

Dear Kak syun, o my my..quite hard to write story about u and me. sbb baru lg kan u got married, i dont know why till now i feel quite hard. haiiishh! u were so attached in me. :'( akak mintak maaf sgt kalau dgn situasi akak yg mcm ni might burden u. i try so hard to understand, n i understand u. cume feeling ni mmg susah nak letak jauh..byk sgt benda kite buat same2. org kate kelakar la sbb umur akak masa 21 tahun nagis on the spot, bile kak lis gtau kak syun nk tunang.haha. pk2 balik mmg kelakar,tp itulah true feeling tau. sbb akak dah tahu from that moment situasi akak akn kehilangan kakak lagi 1 akn bermula semula. so really kena get prepared sbb this time xde lagi sibling yg tinggal utk jd pengganti. Im so sorry.Unfortunately this situation lg susah sikit bila dibandingkan masa kak lis. Akak mmg happy dgn perkahwinan kak syura.sapa xhappy kan. Congratz again anyway. Tp tp tp still feeling "haiisssh" tu ade je. Sunyi sgt. Sll kak syun lah ade je sbgai my transporter, partner in crime, teman itu ini, mkn sana sini, tgk muvee kat umah, teman tdo, partner tiap kali jalan, partner naik rollercoaster, mmg evrytin kak syun lah sbb kakak2 kite yg laen sume dah ade partner, so kalau jenjalan kan ade yg kena naik berdua la, bilik berdua la so kite mmg bersama saje..hahaha..skrg pulak mmg totally everything i do, sume sorg. Balik umh sunyi kot. selain dr mak abah, bosan sgt. Sedey xdpt nk paw kak syun sll.haha. sgt shedey juge nie..adooii~ everytime u cal pergh hati mate jantung ni gerak serentak nak ready melalak je. kak syun kan tahu akak ni kememeh. masa kecik2 dulu kak syun la sll mgalah dgn akak. u realy favor me. ok nak nangis! :'( i really miss our sissy momento! sekejap sgt masa berlalu. dan akak masih lg dlm proses utk "JaDi COOL". Mmg la kalau org kate kakak kahwin je kot, bukan nyer meninggal. Still they dont know how it feels. sbb kak syun ade depan mate lah tp xbole dah buat aktiviti, sissy treatment to me mcmane kite biasa buat b4 u got married. TAPI, akak xsalah kan perkahwinan. Siapa akak nak salahkan hal itu kan, plus i am very happy u got married. mmg dah tiba masanyer kan. Biasala nak menerima keadaan ni agk slow sikit, s i told u b4, ure so attached in me. Masa akn mengubati dan memulihkan. After all u still my sis even though mmg akn ade kelainan dan kak syun pon ade tambahan commitment kan, akak faham. Thanx to abg zizi. plz take good care of my sis. kak syun, I LOVE U!

During eid 2008, i think.

Dari luar, i am independant n know what to do n plan for my future. Akak cube jd seorg yg optimis dan berprinsip sbb u guys inspired me alot. i'll finised my study and get good job. Lagipun akak tahu family harapkan yg terbaik dr akak n akak will try not to let u guys down. Tp, when only akak dgn kak long, abg ngah, kak lis and kak syun, xrase pon yg umur ni sebenarnyer dah 23 tahun....